Thursday, March 22, 2012

They're BAAAAACKKKKKKK.........

My girls have been visiting their grandparents (respectively) until last night.  And until last night…..
all was good. 

You see, I thought it would be a good idea.  One child goes with one grandparent and one child goes with another, so they each get quality one on one time and get a break from each other.  
Until I got the first phone call…..

Awww.......aren't they cute (NOT)

Me:  Hello Sweet Baby

AB#1:   Mommy, what is Grammie’s number so that I can call sissy?

Me:  Why do you want to call sissy??  Enjoy your Grandpa time

AB#1:  Because I miss her and want to talk to her.

Me:  (Inside ma head…WHAT THE FUCK) Umm, ok, call Grammie on her cell phone.

And now, fast forward to yesterday afternoon……and a call from the Nanny

Nanny:  Jana, what time will AB#1 be coming home, we are sitting outside.


Nanny:  Yes, AB#2 has decided that we need to sit outside and wait until AB#1 gets home.  So for the past hour and a half we have been sitting in the driveway waiting for her.  And when I finally called quits on that, we had to wait on the stairs inside the house with the front door and window open, so we don’t miss her.

Me:  (Dying Laughing) Umm…sorry Nanny

And then……when they finally meet….

AB#1:  No, you be quiet, you are so mean…I am going to tell Mom!

AB#2:  Sobbing….so you are so mean…get out of my way….why you push me around….MOOOOOMMMMM

AB#1:  Agh…OOOFF…MOOOOMMMMM……..she pushed me


AB#1: No, MOOOOMMMM….she is lying

AB#2:  I called her first…. (insert various shrill screams)

Me:  Getting out the red cup to fill up!

So after they passed out and were slightly detoxed from all of the spoiling.  

Hubby and I went in the hot tub, I appropriately armed with my red solo cup filled to the brim with wine and Hubby (the good little boy) brought his water cup.  Which, I would like to say was promptly slurped by one of the dogs.  My wine…..those dogs will not touch for fear of MY WRATH.

Yes, he is a cute silver lab.......but that mouth eats poo

So my night ended like this……

Girls are home, all nestled in their beds with the balance of power restored…….Yes

Hubby and I got to have some alone time in the Hot tub time machine……….Yes

Sex complete and ready for sleepy time BEFORE 11 p.m.…………..FUCKING PRICELESS


  1. Oh silly Jana! Don't you know they missed each other so because their goal in this life is to drive mom batshit crazy?? It's like some sort of pledge they take when they are wee ones. MUST BE TOGETHER. MUST ANNOY MOM. So you see, now all is right with the world. Seperating them skewed their time/space continuum.

    Oh, and I get that spoiling detox thing. After a week with the grandparents, my kids are the most toxic being you will ever meet. It takes a good 2 days to settle their silly asses down. There is much screaming, crying and drinking. Can you guess which I'M doing? I'll give you a hint . . . all three.

  2. Damn you. I now HAVE to watch Hot Tube Time Machine. I just have to.

    Admit it, you kinda missed hearing your name called in that shrill voice only a small girl child can produce...