Note to self, “Filter you suck”.
|Ass Sphincter says what??|
So, I have always had a problem with my internal filter, and when I have a few cocktails the internal monologue which escapes my mouth always bites me in the ass.
Like the time I told one of my girlfriends that I thought her husband looked “gay”. (Yeah, I did). And yes, I am jealous, jealous of the way that he puts outfits together!! I mean this man, he has more fashion sense than any of those two bit fashionista hookas on Project Runway. If he could sew, and I am afraid to ask, I can only imagine he would give Tim Gunn a run for his money.
|Bedazzling.....not just for the ladies any longer|
Which I thought was way funny……so did my other girlfriend, but just because we brought our own booze to a birthday party, our perspective might have been slightly skewed.
Well, I know it was skewed, because the “Taco Man” (man who made taco’s for the party) caught us outside when I was trying to show her how hubby humps my back when I bend over. Enter scene:
Me: What is with the back humping, why do they feel the need to hump your back when you bend over?
R: Yeah, what is with that shit? (bends over to mix a drink from our secret drink bag)
Me: (Humping her back) Woo HOO….ain't this sexxxxxie!
R: (Snorting and laughing and trying not to spill her drink while I am feverishly humping her back) AAAHHAAAAHHAAA…Dude you are gonna make me spill my drink!
Me: (Dismounting and Laughing) Yea….(As I start to finish my sentence, I look over and see the Taco Man staring at us, mid spatula and taco in hand, eyes wide with a back away from the crazy white girls look.)
R: Hey Taco Man, Como esta? Sus tacos son Buenos! (The irony here is that she is speaking Spanish with an Oklahoma accent).