Wednesday, April 4, 2012

D for the devil doll that tries to kill me




My husband lives to torment me……..and he lives to torment me with this doll.  I have a seriously phobia about dolls.  I don’t like them, they give me the heebie geebies with their clickity clackity eyes that blink and that blank stare that just screams, and “I will cut you in your sleep”.


Dolls give me the creeps, and especially after watching Josh in Destination Truth on the Island of the Dolls episode where the doll opened and closed its eyes.  AAAAAHHHHH……it was so fucking creepy!


I swear to the heavens, I should have worn one of my kid’s diapers during this episode as I wet my pants watching it, and ever since my husband has been finding numerous ways to torment me.

Yeah..no shit Josh!

Look, its watching you!




With this fucking creepy ass doll....











Let me say to start, I have to give a great big ole one finger salute to my mother in law for buying this heinous doll.  This thing couldn’t get any creepier if it was spawned by that evil satan doll Chucky.

What do I find when I walk down stairs and turn the light on??
 Nor does it help my state of paranoia when said husband chases me around the house with Chucky’s daughter calling….”Mama….Mama…..Mama….why don’t you love me MaMa….”  


When I open the fridge....hubby screams....She just wants you to feed her!!

 B-A-S-T-A-R-D

Now, the good hubster has taken my torture to another level……witness the following…….

I turn around to find this and Hubby whispering, "I'm watching you Mama"


Or when I go to get in the shower in the morning, I can hear him cackling from our bed


The best one is where he totally pretended he was asleep and when I got into bed, he acted all surprised that I wasn't all ready in there....yeah...Jackass....it was the doll.



Even the dog is scared by it's evil face...EVVAAAILLLEEE



And last, but not least, look what was waiting for me with my morning coffee




I think the letter "J" will have to be for the Jackass that tortures me

24 comments:

  1. My MIL has a 3' tall doll. Rirst time I stayed in her house I about had a heart attack walking to the bathroom in the dark. I made her move the doll, she moved to the closet, swear to god that doll opened the closet door and watched me sleep all night. Next day I grabbed doll by her hair & moved her to the garage.

    Have you seen the BBC documentary on the women who have the dolls, but they treat them like real babies?

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    1. Jenn - Shut the hell up!! I am now afraid and fascinated to watch this show on BBC. Damn YOU!

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    2. Watch it. The women & men for that matter totally drank the blue juice. They treat the dolls like actual infants. That documentary is better than the HBO Real Sex show on fetishes!

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    3. OMG - I am going to have to watch it then!

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  2. I think the one that should give you the heebie jeebies is your husband. That doll is way cuter than most. I mean, at least it has hair and a pink baby romper. The creepy ones are bald and naked.

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    1. Erica - I made him put the clothes on if we were going to take pictures. For the most part, every baby and every doll in our house is naked. Don't ask me why

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  3. Do you write stories about this creepy doll?

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    1. Rebecka - No, but I should...like a diary of the dolls kind of story, huh??

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  4. LOL, Dolls and puppets creep the hell out of me too. I say everywhere your husband leaved the doll, you leave a knife, accompanied by a "How to Castrate a man with one whack!"

    Stopping in from A-Z:)

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    1. Shay - Ha ha....that might be an idea!

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  5. Replies
    1. Crack dat whip - Thanks, I never thought telling our silly family stories would be so funny. It just goes to show you that everyone does crazy things!

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  6. There used to be a creepy doll shop in my town. I couldn't even look in the windows because it had this creepy doll that looked like it was being tentacle raped by red vines. Ugh.

    Well, happy A-Zing. :3

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  7. This made me laugh! Good job!!! :)

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  8. Oh my god! I am so glad that I clicked on your blog on the list at A-to-Z this evening. I had to sign up...this blog rocks! First I will apologize for laughing...almost maniacally as I read this post. It would scare the hell out of me, but the way you wrote this and the pics had me spitting water through my nose. You really, really need to get even with hubby for this damned evil doll stuff. The episode you wrote about which featured doll island...that gave me nightmares, no lie! No way in hell would you get me to spend the night there. :)

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    1. Oh Tracy - I'm so glad that you made it here too! I will find a way to get back at hubby, but my punishment is probably due. After always trying to put breast milk in his coffee and other random things that I do to him. He can scare me with the dolls. LOL

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  9. I cannot stop staring at the first doll picture. The combination of "OMG WANT" and revulsion I'm experiencing is unlike anything I can recall experiencing. Err, well, kind of like this one time I had a horrendous craving for Tilapia and peanut butter. At the same time. One on top of the other.
    I was pregnant.
    Anyways, this did make me giggle a bit, and I do apologize for that. I'm sure Karma will come at me with some horrible experience involving caterpillars and Boyfriend being hilarious/a jerk.
    I like this blog of yours! I'll be sure to check in on your progress with the A-Z challenge. Looks like fun. I'm kinda bummed I'm a bit late for it, but it'll be neat to see what others come up with.

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    1. No apologies needed for laughing...I find it incredibly funny too and that probably encourages him even more. Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. Picked this blog at random from A to Z and glad I did. Funny as hell! Looking forward to more!

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  11. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to sleep tonight. Or if I do, I will have horrible Chucky nightmares. lol

    Found you thru A-Z. :o)

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    1. JDay - I know, its fricking creepy. Thanks for stopping by

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  12. I am not sure if someone has commented this yet, but if you fear dolls, and you're vacationing in Mexico, avoid Island of the Dolls in Xochimilco.

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  13. OMG, How did I not find your blog during the actual challenge? I laughed so hard that I have to go re-do my makeup and had to explain to a co-worker what was so hilarious! btw - she thinks I'm nuts!

    I hope you're doing the 2013 challenge!

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